Whooo, this is not an easy blog to write. The problem with blogging and putting my life up for public scrutiny is that when my life took an unexpected turn last week there was inevitably going to be a lot of curiosity about what was really going on. I, meanwhile, was trying to soothe wounded feelings and going public did not seem the right thing to do while the wounds were so fresh.
I am still struggling to find the best way to give just the right amount of information to satisfy curiosity, while not saying so much that I rub salt into possibly still-smarting wounds.
Here goes.
One of my faults (and I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in this) is that I see what I want to see and believe what I want to believe. I tend to screen out what does not fit conveniently with my world view. I am working on becoming more objective, but I still make mistakes - especially when it comes to men.
So while my correspondence with Steve appeared to ME to be an exciting and fun correspondence with a future friend and collaborator, I can see in retrospect how my friendliness could have been misconstrued as a possible invitation to a deeper relationship. This is certainly how Steve saw it.
So we came into the relationship with two rather different sets of expectations. We both expected to be close friends and collaborators on adventure technology, but Steve thought we would make great partners on every level, while I was not looking for a boyfriend/girlfriend kind of relationship at all. I was perfectly happy with my single status. It kept life nice and simple, leaving me free to focus on my next ocean row.
Life has got a great sense of humour. Just when you think you've got it all figured out...
I will give you the next episode in the story tomorrow.
[Photo: me in the Columbia Gorge last week, when life seemed less complicated]
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Comments [0]
Thanks for the messages of concern, interest, commiseration etc in response to the news that the trans-America road trip is off.
No need for commiserations or concern - all is well. As one of the women I met on last week's Tall Ships Sailing Challenge wrote to me, the Columbia Gorge is a good place to get stranded. Here's a pic of me soaking up some rays in the chilly autumn sunshine two days ago.
It's beautiful here. Life could definitely be worse.
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I just received my invite to next year's Mountain Film Festival in Colorado, where I am due to present my video (yet to be edited) and give a presentation (yet to be written).
I was extremely flattered to see my name listed alongside the likes of Sir Ranulph Fiennes and Lynn Hill as 'Adventurers', and under 'Environment' I see that invitees include Richard Branson, Al Gore, Bill Clinton, Leonardo diCaprio, Robert Redford and the Dalai Lama.
Oooerrr, this is a MAJOR event. Better get editing...
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You may have noticed that the Tracker's progress across the US has abruptly ceased shortly after lift-off. Rest assured - my co-driver Steve and I have not died, crashed, or been abducted by aliens.
How to explain? It became apparent early on that, errr, there was a mismatch of expectations and objectives around the road trip. The STARBOARD team has temporarily parted company, on the best of terms, and will be announcing exciting new technological-gizmological collaborations in due course.
I will be making alternative arrangements for Sedna to get shipped across from Miami to the West Coast. Her arrival in the US has in any case been delayed - I love Antigua, but it's not necessarily the place to get things done in a hurry. She was in the container and ready to go, but then failed to make it onto the ship. So this buys me a few extra days to sort out the next stage of her journey.
The best laid plans of mice, men and ocean rowers....
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